Scenes From An Asexual Life

These are my experiences except where otherwise stated. I wanted to give a flavour of aspects of sexuality and sensuality that I have struggled with and others that I feel lucky to have experienced. I identify as grey asexual.

A friend once described her genitals as "Barbie parts" and I understood exactly what she meant: blank, plastic. You have as much chance of arousing Barbie as you have of making my genitals feel something. A "sex" life split between boys that don't care, don't even notice, and boys that see it as a challenge or threat to their ego if they can't "make me cum".

Sometimes, if I believe hard enough, and if my partner believes too, I can penetrate my partner with my spirit cock and cum in seconds. That's quite fun.

I was naked and covered in oil, being massaged up and down the front of my body by 4 almost-strangers. My eyes were closed. I felt touch and it didn't matter who was doing the touching. My skin was increasing in sensitivity with every stroke, my body rising to meet the hands that could barely keep me from floating away. My moans were translated by the others as sexual; I wondered if any of them could ever feel what I was feeling then.

When I was a child, we used to receive calendars in the post from people who had no hands but could paint beautifully by holding brushes with their feet. Did their feet become more dexterous because they used them like hands? Have my tastebuds become more sensitive because I taste instead of fucking? My ace friend Aleck describes experiencing sexual pleasure through their mouth. It's like a drug, getting totally absorbed in the taste of my partner. And the smell, so much the smell: the smell first, as I tease myself, prolonging the wait before I can lick and suck them.

*names changed