Phone Sex
when he was inside me or
when lip to lip, he held on
I never thought what does my vagina
look like to him, only
after, unaccustomed to the traits of a long-
distance relationship
phone
balanced
precariously between breasts
I wondered, ok so
he wants sex
over the phone
*
this is my home now
he is somewhere
behind this screen
*
I know it is important
to him
to piece
bone by bone
the body
pixel by pixel together
his dick honing
like a shared live location
and it is important
to me
to keep him close
*
I lower the phone just a little, cracks
through the VPN
(I have practised and pre-recorded
cries and moans
sounding authentic
sexy, soft
not forced)
*
this feeling is something
similar to being
an insect amidst
a long stretch of
dried out land, the sheer
itch of exposure
*
and everything looks alien
bird of prey, he moves
hawk-eyed
all of me
falling beyond the line
*
surely skype can’t
change
the stretch
of
time
*
all is
careful
concession
balancing
need for need
I must
make peace
with my own skin
*
small camera flicks
face fanny face fanny
the ingrown hairs
are grey palaces
wasted flesh barrels
and hair
the too-big belly
breathes
quivers
the lips drooped
unhinged
like watching
girls
on
sea saws
their tipped skirts
hanging
*
when he used to go down on me he was
mythical
*
top of fire-drawn
fringe carriage
curled like waves
his hair tickled
his huge back
broke the shore
of skin
totally unafraid
his pressed chin
like a single eyed
cyclops
I surveyed his forrid
the tip of his nose
the frown of his face
great freckled up
scooping back
full of purpose
and sails of fingers
and cliff wrists, great barrier
reef of his tongue
pushing cracked Earth
like one of David Attenborough’s squids
tentacling the rock
to sucker the fish
I could show him something magic
make peace with my body bone by bone
next time he phones I
could feel at home in it, live
well in it, laugh, love, live, fuck, give
up everything but this
sense
of nothing else
mattering, great wonder
of marrow
and mind
the white plucked
unequivocal
great bastion
flesh
filling screens with this body
just me-
just me- will be enough-
next time
